And the Moment
by igaveattheoffice
Summary: Carby. FINALLY DONE! Epilogue now up. please R
1. Dead Again and Beyond

post Dead Again and yes, the first scene is the ending scene of that episode. Forgive any mistakes in the dialogue and such.  
  
*****  
AND THE MOMENT...  
*****  
  
He'd had a long day, Abby reminded herself as she watched him. He had been waiting for her shift to end but fell asleep sprawled on the couch in the lounge, still garbed in scrubs and lab coat. She smiled softly at his boyish features, made more so by the relaxation of a much-needed sleep.  
  
_i won't wake him_, she decided, somewhat ruefully. The ER at County General had reopened only that day, a week after the smallpox scare. Clearly it had taken its toll on Dr. Carter. Abby leaned over and kissed his forehead lightly. Turning to leave, she nearly ran into Dr. Kovac, who looked surprised to see that Abby was leaving without Carter.  
  
You're not going to wake him up? Didn't you two come in together? Luka asked.  
  
i think he can find his way home without me, Abby replied tiredly as she departed.  
  
Luka watched her depart, his face reflecting the lightest hint of loneliness, even regret.  
  
*****  
  
The lounge was cold and empty when Carter awoke. He wondered what time it was and how long he had been asleep. He sat up, only then noticing the dark blanket that had been placed over him sometime during his nap.  
  
_Abby_, he thought tenderly. Was she still there? He left the lounge and encountered Randi.  
  
Hey, Sleeping Beauty, she teased.  
  
How long have I been in there?  
  
Since before my shift started, the answer came. She handed him a note from Abby. _Didn't want to wake you. You looked too comfortable. See you later_. He felt a mixture of gratitude and disappointment that she had not awakened him.  
  
Randi pointed him in the direction of a med student who had spent the chaotic day trying to get a chance to be introduced to the ER. Carter went and flopped down next to her and nudged her awake.  
  
Look, I'm sorry, he said tiredly. The day got away from me. Try again tomorrow? _Please agree, Erin..._ he started to get up, but she followed him.  
  
No, no, I don't think so. No. She stood her ground. I have been here for sixteen hours. I have been ignored and yelled at and called honey' and sweetie' and bitch' _twice_ and all I've had to eat is gummy bears and Diet Coke. She stared him squarely in the eye as he turned to look at her. I am not leaving until I get what I came for, she stated firmly.  
  
_She has guts_, Carter admitted to himself in admiration. He began to show her around and Erin began to bombard him with questions.  
*****  
  
The TV flickered with a late night infomercial. She flipped the channel--off the air. Flip--a Britney Spears music video. _ugh_. Flip--I Love Lucy.  
  
Good enough, she murmured, settling. She knew that when Carter awoke, he'd come to her place, and she fully intended to greet him when he arrived.  
  
Abby sighed heavily. It had been a long day. She hadn't slept in who knew how long. She yawned.  
  
_Gotta wait for Carter_, she scolded herself. _Gotta...wait..._  
  
She was asleep.  
*****  
  
They didn't call it the windy city for nothing, Carter reasoned as he trudged through the streets towards Abby's apartment. He knew she was waiting.  
  
The light from the TV caught his eye as he quietly entered the apartment. He found Abby slumbering peacefully on the sofa despite the blaring of the _Three's Company_ theme from the television. Carter tried not to wake her as he carefully scooped her into his arms and began taking her to her bedroom. She snuggled closer to him in her sleep, then awoke as if realizing she wasn't on the couch anymore. He saw her eyelids flutter open. he said softly.  
  
No fair, she muttered drowsily. I didn't wake you up.  
  
You're dreaming, he replied. Go back to sleep. She yawned in reply. Carter feigned hurt. I thought you'd be more excited to see me.  
  
As excited as you were to see me earlier, she retorted, punctuating it with another yawn.  
  
  
  
He laid her down gently on the bed and turned to leave the room, but stopped to look questioningly at Abby when she grabbed his hand.  
  
Where are you going? she asked? He gestured in the general direction of the living room.  
  
I was just going to crash on the couch, he ventured.  
  
  
she gave him a sleepy half-grin before pulling him down on the bed with surprising strength.  
  
Whatever you say, he whispered obediently as they spooned up together. Soon, both were asleep, contentment showing on each face.  
  
*****  
  
It was only a few hours later that the insistent beeping of Carter's pager awoke them both.  
  
Throw it out the window, Abby muttered groggily.  
  
Don't I wish, he groaned. He carefully got up, trying not to disturb her too much. I guess I better go.  
  
I'll come too, she offered.  
  
he refused, Stay. Sleep. You need it.  
  
Mmm. You're sweet, she smiled dreamily.  
  
The best, he agreed. Leaning down, he brushed her lips with his own and tucked a lock of highlighted hair behind her ear. I'll see you when you come in.  
  
she said tenderly. She listened to his receding footsteps as he trudged out into the night towards County.


	2. Nightlife

So Here's Chapter 2. I've been doing my editing that i kinda slacked on when i originally posted. You have to understand that this story is almost finished, but it's handwritten in a notebook that i originally got for my Sign Language class before i dropped it. Now i use it to take notes at Equestrian Team meetings. But, i digress, so i'll shut up with my ramblings and procedd.  
  
*****  
And The Moment...  
*****  
  
CHAPTER 2: NIGHTLIFE  
  
  
  
Carter expected the ER to be...well...he expected an emergency. Instead he found it in relative quiet with an anxious-looking Dr. Corday relieved to see him.  
  
Thanks for coming, she said gratefully in her clipped British accent.  
  
Everything okay? he asked in concern.  
  
Ella's sick, she said tightly.  
  
Well, I'm here. Go on home to your baby.  
  
You're a lifesaver, Carter. I owe you big time!  
  
I'm gonna hold you to that, he called after her retreating form. He turned to the nurse on duty. Anything exciting happening?  
  
Chuny filled him in on the few emergencies that had come in and eyed him. Carter, you look horrible.  
  
he said mildly. I was sleeping peacefully when my pager went off.  
  
she sympathized.  
  
Moments later a woman burst in with a little girl of about eight. She's having an asthma attack! the woman cried. Oh, God, she can't breathe!  
  
Carter went into action. The terrified mother allowed him to take the child from her and it was only a few minutes before they had the little girl calmed down and breathing easily.  
  
We'll keep her here to keep an eye on her, Carter reassured the mother, but she'll be okay.  
  
******  
  
Abby found herself unable to return to sleep once Carter had departed. She rolled over and flipped the switch on her clock radio. It was tuned to one of her favorite stations, one that played classic jazz and swing music. The song that was on was one she had heard at a friend's wedding and fallen in love with. It was When I Fall in Love. She sat back and listened to Nat King Cole singing the quietly wonderful song.  
  
**When I fall in love, it will be forever  
Or I'll never fall in love...  
**  
The lyrics opened her mind and the thoughts tumbled. She thought about her ex-husband and their rocky marriage. They hadn't really been in love and both were aware of it. Forever had obviously not been a thought for them.  
  
**When I give my heart, it will be completely  
Or i'll never give my heart...**_  
_  
Luka Kovac. Theirs was a relationship that neither one had taken very seriously. Sure, the sex had been good, but emotionally, they had never gotten as close as they could have. She hadn't given her heart, and she hoped that her growing relationship with Carter wasn't hurting Luka.  
  
And then there was Carter. She wondered where, exactly, they stood. Were they in love? Falling in love? It was still tremulous. The attraction was there--oh, yes, it was there--along with a friendship that was as close as two people could get.  
  
_But is it love?  
  
And am I ready for it if it is?  
_  
Well, she concluded, whatever it was, it had her staring at the ceiling at an absurd hour. She could be of use elsewhere.  
  
*****  
  
Chuny laughed triumphantly as she proudly displayed her cards for Carter to see.  
  
Why did I think it was a good idea to teach you this game? he grumbled.  
  
Maybe you thought you needed a humility lesson, She laughed, her tone light and her accent telling of her hispanic origins.  
  
Yeah, yeah, Carter feigned a pout. Well, now that you have won every hand you've ever played, I humbly hand over my crown and depart for the cafeteria for a refill. he made his point complete by displaying the styrofoam cup that had already seen more than its fair share of the murky hospital coffee.  
  
*****  
  
Sometime during the night it had started raining. Abby was reluctant to take the El alone at the late hour, opting instead to hail a cab. She shrugged deeper into her oversized sweatshirt--a Chicago Bears one that she had from Carter, and she surveyed the streets.  
  
Even in the early morning, the streets of Chicago were hardly empty, and it didn't take Abby long to flag down a taxi.  
  
Where to? the cabbie grunted.  
  
County Hospital.  
  
*****  
  
Carter dug out some change from his pocket to pay for his coffee.  
  
Not used to nights, Dr. Carter? the cashier teased.  
  
Not used to being bored at work, he corrected. Not used to having enough time to think about needing coffee.  
  
Careful with that stuff, she said in mock-earnesty. It'll kill ya.  
  
He took his time returning to the ER, strolling casually through the halls, taking leisurely sips of coffee. On arriving, he discovered that Doctors Weaver and Chen had come on duty.  
  
Can I leave? he asked hopefully and pleadingly to Kerry Weaver.  
  
Sorry, Carter, we might need you.  
  
Oh, yeah, just look at this crowd, he said dryly.  
  
Answer's still no, she singsonged as she walked away.  
  
he muttered under his breath. Chen stifled a laugh. Carter turned and eyed her. Any good at poker, Deb?  
  
Are you challenging me? she raised an eyebrow at him laughingly.  
  
Are you accepting? he retaliated, pulling the deck from the pocket of his coat.  
  
You're on!  
  
Twenty minutes later he regretted it.  
  
Carter's mouth dropped open as Chen displayed her hand smugly. a Royal Flush?! he exclaimed incredulously.   
  
I have my secrets, she smirked. She stood and continued, I think you've been humiliated enough tonight. She moved to leave the lounge and as she did, something dropped to the floor. Quick as a flash, Carter dove for it.  
  
The two of clubs, he observed with over dramatic interest. How many more of these did you have up your sleeve?  
  
Too late to worry about it now, she responded cheerfully.  
  
The door opened. Multiple MVAs, drunk driver hit a cab. ETA four minutes, Weaver announced. They followed her to the ambulance bay.


	3. Things Fall Apart

Sorry I took so long with chapter 3. You have to understand that the final draft is not at all like what i've written in my handy-dandy i work midnight to 5 am and what a great time to write a Carby notebook. Also, i went home for Thanksgiving. The next part may not come until after finals, and if i get my way my computer will come home with me over Christmas break. If i don't get my way, it will sit gathering dust in my new room (!!!) and i will be agitated because i won't have any fics or Photoshop things to work on or my music to listen to. But i dunno, it's an iMac and these suckers weigh about half a ton. We'll just have to see. Thanks to everyone who has left me such wonderful reviews! You guys are the ones who keep me writing! Anyway, without further ado...  
  
*****  
And The Moment...  
*****  
  
CHAPTER 3: THINGS FALL APART  
  
  
  
Two ambulances came barreling in and the emergency team went into action. The doors flew open and the paramedics rolled the first gurney out. Fortyish male with a fractured left tibia. Minor head lacs and bruising, possible concussion. Conscious.  
  
Reeks of bourbon, Carter added as he placed himself along side the patient.   
  
Where's Natalie? the patient slurred as the gurney was wheeled into the ER. Carter moved to the next one.  
  
Middle-aged female, multiple rib fractures. Lacerated carotid with massive blood loss. Carter checked her pulse.  
  
he said sadly.  
  
Chen's voice rang out sharply, frightened. Get over here!  
  
He rounded the corner of the other ambulance. Chen's face was drained of all color and she had tears in her eyes. he shifted his gaze to her patient and froze.  
  
Oh, Christ, he choked out at the sight of Abby's form, lying battered on the gurney.  
  
Weaver appeared at his side. He heard her sharp intake of breath as she registered the situation.  
  
she ordered crisply, Go take care of that other guy.  
  
  
  
her tone left no room for argument. She took a deep breath and in a softer voice said We'll do our damnedest for her. She gave him a gentle shove towards Abby's cab driver.  
  
she barked when he appeared for his shift. Go assist Carter. As he passed by, she stopped him and said in a low tone, He's in shock. Keep an eye out, make sure he does things right. Pratt nodded, not knowing what was happening but not pausing to question it, either. The crew rushed into the emergency room.  
  
Carter, Pratt, and Haleh bent over the husky cab driver in Trauma Two. Pratt pretty much took over the case as they worked to stanch the bleeding from the man's scalp. He tried his best to keep Carter occupied, but to no avail. Carter's eyes constantly shifted to the swinging double doors that separated Trauma rooms One and Two. In the next room, Weaver, Chen, and several nurses could be seen huddled around their patient.  
  
They worked steadily, stitching cuts, setting broken bones, some minor abdominal surgery. The moment the driver was stabilized, Carter snapped off his gloves and strode into Trauma One.  
  
What's with him? Pratt questioned Haleh. She looked at him with frightened, anxious eyes.  
  
It's Abby, she whispered.  
  
Pratt murmured. He disposed of his own latex gloves and, sending up a quick prayer, went after Carter.  
  
Weaver said calmly without looking up. Take Dr. Carter down to the cafeteria and get him some coffee.  
  
What about that other patient?  
  
It's minimal. Haleh can handle it.  
  
Come on, John. It took a great deal of strength for Pratt to haul his colleague from the room. Once out, Carter shook his hands off and wordlessly darted to the closest trash can to lean over and vomit into it. Pratt was close behind him to lay a comforting hand on his back.  
  
I'm okay, Carter finally said weakly after a moment. Pratt refrained from arguing. His friend looked awful, and he escorted him to the cafeteria and paid for two large cups of coffee. The cashier noted Carter's expression and turned a questioning expression to Pratt, who ignored it.  
  
They sat wearily at a table and after the first sip of the strong, scalding coffee, Carter seemed to clear up a little. He stared into his coffee before pushing it away and burying his face in his arms.  
  
She'll be okay, man. She'll be okay. Pratt didn't know what else to say. Carter looked up, his eyes saturated in tears. She'll be okay, Pratt repeated.  
  
Stop saying that! Carter spat out. You didn't see how bad it was. You didn't see it.  
  
I'm sorry, Carter, Pratt said awkwardly.  
  
I told her to stay and sleep, Carter said absently. He dropped his head into his hands again. Why was she out?  
  
Let's go see what we can find out, Pratt suggested gently.  
  
They returned to the ER and Weaver meet them at the desk.  
  
She's in surgery, she reported tightly.  
  
Tell me, he whispered.  
  
Let's go talk in the lounge.  
  
Carter perched nervously on the edge of the couch in the lounge as Weaver settled herself awkwardly into one of the wooden chairs from the table. She took a deep breath and began her explanation.  
  
Her left lung collapsed and was reinflated. Her spleen is badly damaged, as are both kidneys. Tib-fib fractures in her right leg, and her right hand had several broken bones. Her tailbone has a hairline fracture also. She suffered some head trauma. Kerry hesitated. there's a little bit of swelling.  
  
He waited, his eyes asking the question.  
  
We don't know yet, Carter, she said softly. He nodded, unmasked fear on his face.   
  
*****  
  
Abby was in surgery for eight hours.  
  
During the seemingly endless hours, Carter managed to place calls to her brother and mother, both of whom were flying in as soon as possible. He flatly refused to place the call to Richard, her ex-husband, referring to him as a callous bastard. Weaver volunteered to call him. Carter paced the halls, insisting that he was unable to calm down until he heard from the OR. Feeling wretchedly guilty, Kerry slipped him a heavy sedative and sent him to the lounge to take it easy, as she put it, despite his objections.  
  
I hate to do that, but he's only making it worse, she admitted. I'm going to scrub in.  
  
Chen and Pratt agreed that they could handle the ER until Luka and some of the med students arrived in a few hours. Kerry disappeared and the ER staff was left in an uncomfortable silence. Pratt noted that Deb was shaking a little, and that her face was still pale.  
  
You all right, Jing-Mei? he peered worriedly at her. She shook her head. I was just remembering a few years ago... Carter and Lucy... she hid her face. Randi and several nurses had similar expressions as they too remembered the events of that horrible Valentine's Day. Pratt wisely refrained from asking any questions.


	4. Hope Has a Place

Author's Note: i almost didn't bother finishing this. i got zero feedback on Chapter 3 and I figured hey, why go on? However, with (that is to say, threats and nagging) from Carolyn, i decided to go on with it. this is dedicated to my dad. Abby's accident is largely based on the one he was in a few years ago.  
  
Disclaimers for chapter 4: Title of chapter 4 was taken from an Enya song by the same name. The song appears later in the chapter. i have no claims on it.  
  
*****  
And The Moment...  
*****  
  
CHAPTER 4: HOPE HAS A PLACE   
  
  
  
He awoke in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the lounge for the second time in less than twenty-four hours. Groggily he glanced at the clock. Nine in the morning! When had he fallen asleep? For a split second he wondered if Abby had arrived for her shift, but then the memory hit him like a lightning bolt. Was she still in surgery? Was she...?  
  
Carter didn't finish the thought. He exited the room in search of Kerry Weaver. Ignoring the concerned glances of the ER staff, he opened trauma room and curtain area doors, not caring what he might be interrupting. He finally found her halfheartedly restocking a trauma room that had only recently been vacated.  
  
Her voice told of the exhaustion that invaded her this long night. She's out of surgery.  
  
*****  
He disliked the ICU. It had a morbid air about it that not even the ER possessed and the feeling sent a chill crawling up his spine.  
  
Carter bypassed the ICU Waiting room. He didn't care that to demand entrance to the ward was an abuse of his privileges as a doctor. The detail was often enough overlooked, and it was not as though he'd never done it before. He always managed to skirt around the strictly enforced visiting hours.  
  
Four patients were enclosed by curtains, each surrounded by softly beeping machines of varying purposes. It took only a moment to find Abby. The curtain to the far left was parted just enough to reveal that a young man in military uniform was standing by the bed. Carter realized that he must be Abby's younger brother Eric.  
  
The heels of his loafers were the loudest sound in the room as he made his way towards them. Eric turned to see who was approaching. His dark eyes were red and held a great sadness in them. Eric had taken a redeye flight the moment he had permission from his commanding officer to take a leave of absence. He had not even taken the time to change out of his dress uniform. It was disheveled and none too clean, but that was the last thing on Eric's mind as he stared down disbelievingly at his sister's still form.  
  
Eric Wyczenski? the young doctor who was approaching spoke his name questioningly. After a confirming nod from Eric the doctor stuck out his hand. John Carter.  
  
Carter noted no recognition from Eric at his name and pressed further. Abby and I are, uh...  
  
Oh, right! Eric exclaimed. He shook Carter's hand. She's told me about you. I'm sorry I didn't know, it's just- long night.  
  
I understand, Carter said quietly. For the first time, he turned his gaze to Abby. Her face was bruised and swollen and it made him wince inwardly.  
  
Can you tell me what happened? I haven't spoken to a doctor or anything. Eric had not sought anyone out for explanations.  
  
Carter took a deep breath, reviewing what he knew thus far.  
  
The guy in the other car had been drinking. A lot. He apparently lost control and crashed into the passenger side of the taxi as it was making a u-turn. He heard Eric's sharp intake of breath and felt his own eyes grow hot with tears, but he forged ahead. Her spleen was damaged beyond repair and they removed it in surgery. Both kidneys were damaged. One is functioning but it isn't fully stable. A few ribs were fractured, puncturing her lung. It was reinflated. Her lower right leg is broken, and so are several bones in her right hand and her shoulder. Her tailbone has a slight fracture as well. And- he stopped to take a shaky breath, closed his eyes. There's some slight swelling in her brain.  
  
Eric paled. he whispered. How bad is it?  
  
Carter hesitated. She may not make it, he said softly, looking not at Eric, but at Abby. He could feel the unshed tears preparing to flood forth.  
  
Has anyone talked to Mom? Eric asked.   
  
Carter nodded. He vaguely remembered having spoken to Maggie Wyczenski some hours before. She's on her way. He glanced around the ICU ward and spotting what he was looking for, rounded up the two chairs and brought them back to Abby's bedside. Eric sank down wearily into one, while Carter moved the other to the opposite side of the bed and plunked down into it.  
  
The two men sat in silence, focused solely on the woman on the bed between them. Carter took her left hand in his, careful of the heart monitor that was clipped to one finger. Her skin was cold and he nearly flinched, needing to remind himself that this was normal. He reached up with his other hand to smooth her hair. It was considerably shorter than it had been- they'd had to cut it in surgery.  
  
Eric quietly observed Carter's behavior. This was someone who obviously cared about his sister. Abby deserved it, after her miserable life with Richard Lockhart. Eric had disliked Richard intensely from the moment he met him. At some point in his childhood he had discovered that he had a strong enough intuition that within a few minutes of meeting someone, he knew whether that person was trustworthy or not. He'd sensed the dishonest and manipulative side of Richard Lockhart immediately. Eric had been the one to give Abby away at her wedding, their father having long ago vanished, but what he really wanted to do that day was hide her and protect her from the man she was marrying.  
  
But John Carter was as different from Richard as two people could be. Eric saw the tenderness in Carter's eyes, the worry, the fear, as the young doctor gazed down at Abby. He knew that his sister was with the right person now.  
  
A commotion drew both of their attention up. A nurse had come to check on Abby's IVs and to tell Eric that there was a phone call for him.  
  
Probably Mom, he said. He went to the desk to take the call. Carter got up to allow the nurse to adjust an IV stand behind him. He watched Eric talking on the phone. He was obviously frustrated and was struggling to keep his voice low. Finally he ended the conversation and came back to where carter was standing. It's her. She's at the airport and she wants me to go get her because she doesn't want to get a cab. His voice was heavy and Carter knew that while Eric didn't harbor as much anger towards his mother as Abby did, he was none too pleased to have to deal with her.  
  
We'll go get her, Carter said.  
  
I told her that if I came to get her, she'd still have to take a cab.  
  
I have a Jeep. We'll have to take the El back to the house to get it, but it'll be easier to just go and get your mom.  
  
*****  
  
They traveled tensely down the stretch of highway that went to the O'Hare Airport exit. Carter drove it straight up to the loading zone, where Maggie Wyczenski was waiting impatiently with two large suitcases. Both hopped out of the Jeep to figure out how to load the suitcases in.   
  
Maggie looked sharply at Carter. Don't I know you?  
  
Yes, we met when you were last in Chicago, and again in Oklahoma.  
  
Maggie flushed a little. I remember now. You work with Abby.  
  
I do, and we've also been dating for several months, Carter told her hesitantly.   
  
Maggie looked him over. she said at last. Can we go see her now?  
Eric volunteered to crunch himself into the back seat so that Maggie could sit up front. As the car started, she flicked the radio on and browsed, finally settling on an easy listening station. An Enya song was playing.  
  
**Under the heavens   
we journey far,   
on roads of life   
we're the wanderers.   
So let love rise,   
so let love depart,   
let hope have a place in the lover's heart.   
Hope has a place in the lover's heart.  
  
**The people who most loved Abby Lockhart were struck by the lyrics. This was the thing they needed, the thing that would unite them all and see Abby through, see them all through. Love, yes, love was important, but something more was needed.  
  
Hope.


	5. Dream Sequence

Author's note: This chapter is one of those ones that switches back and forth frequently. What's happening is a switch between a dream sequence and what's actuallygoing on at the same time as the dream. The italicised parts are the dream. Thanks again to everyone who's sent reviews and to Carolyn, the Beta Queen.  
  
[insert the usual disclaimers here]  
  
*****  
And the Moment...  
*****  
  
CHAPTER 5: DREAM SEQUENCE  
  
  
  
  
She'd never experienced anything that felt quite like this. It was indescribable- numb, yet heavy. The effort that it might take to open her eyes was too much for her. Dimly she made out the sound of voices, distant and unintelligible. She could feel the pressure on her hand, as though it was enfolded into another. Her mind was foggy; she wasn't sure what exactly was happening.  
  
She felt herself slip away into sleep and welcomed the sweet oblivion.  
  
*****  
  
"We did another CT on her about an hour ago," Dr. Jackson reported. "The swelling has lessened considerably. Within the next day or two, she may begin to wake up."  
  
Maggie Wyczenski breathed a shaky sigh. "Then she will be okay?"  
  
"It's looking very good," the neurologist replied, "However, Dr. Leegans is still very much concerned with her kidney function."  
  
"Can we speak with him?" Carter asked.  
  
"I think he'll be stopping in later on to tell you what is going on," Dr. Jackson said.  
  
"Thanks, Tony." Carter greatly appreciated the care given to Abby by their colleagues.  
  
"We're really rooting for her," Jackson said before he departed.  
  
"This seems like good news," Eric offered.  
  
"Yeah..." Carter seemed pensive.  
  
"What's wrong?" Eric asked him.  
  
  
"The fact that they're worried about her kidneys worries me. If it wasn't serious, Dr. Jackson would have told us himself instead of referring us to the nephrologist."  
  
"No," Maggie whispered. Her gaze fell to her daughter. "We've never been very close," she said, trancelike. "I wasn't able to handle the responsibility of being Mom. I was never on my medicine. Maybe I never would have gotten it together if it hadn't been for her coming to Oklahoma to get me. God, I put her through so much...both of you." She turned a pleading look to Eric.  
  
"Mom, you really don't have to-"  
  
"Yes, I do!" Maggie said desperately. "I do, because I was so wrong in the way I raised you. I was so wrong to lay such heavy responsibility on her, and to leave you without a mother. I'm sorry, Eric, I'm sorry to you and I'm sorry to Abby and oh, God, what if she never gets to hear me say it? I want to be able to tell her that she was finally the influence that got me on my medication. I want to make it up to her, to both of you. She has to get better, she has to!" Maggie was nearly in hysterics.  
  
Eric stood back, unsure whether to comfort his mother or if his touch would trigger something in her. Carter, however, had no such qualms. He stepped right up to Maggie and put his arms around her. She clung to him, weeping.  
  
"It's okay," he soothed. "It's okay. She's going to make it, and you will be able to tell her. It'll be okay." he repeated the words, driving them into Maggie's mind as well as his own.  
  
*****  
  
_She was watching a scene from above. It was as though a roof had been torn off of a building and she was looking down onto the inside.   
  
It was a house, someone's home. It was fairly large, simply but tastefully decorated. In one room a television blared a cartoon theme song while two dark-haired children tussled over a toy of sorts. They were around four or five, maybe only a year or two apart, the elder one a boy and then smaller one, a girl. They both had a firm grip on what appeared to be a stuffed elephant. The boy gave a valiant tug and the little girl crashed onto the carpet.  
  
She felt herself smile as the boy, now contrite, knelt by his sister and consoled her, handing her the toy and drying her tears with his own sleeve. She always hoped that her children would be polite kids.  
  
Her children?  
_  
_Something wasn't right. But wait-there she was, coming into the room, alarmed by the crying of her daughter. The boy offered an explanation to his mother and she gave him a light warning before returning to the other room.  
_  
*****  
  
"Did anyone ever notify Richard?" Maggie asked out of the blue.  
  
"Yes," Carter said shortly. He'd disliked Richard on their one meeting- at a Carter family event. He'd asked Gamma to exclude Abby's ex from future events.  
  
"Did he care?" Eric asked sourly. Carter didn't answer.  
  
They looked to see who was coming in the door. Susan Lewis appeared bearing a huge white take-out bag.  
  
"I brought you all something from Doc's," she announced.  
  
"You're a life saver!" Carter proclaimed as he assisted her with the heavy bag. "Best grease burgers in town," he added to the puzzled Wyczenskis.  
  
"That's the place across the street?" Maggie frowned in remembrance.  
  
"Yeah." Carter handed her a box containing a cheeseburger and french fries, plus a styrofoam cup of iced tea. Susan handed another to Eric, and Carter dug into the third one.  
  
"When's the last time any of you ate?" Susan questioned. The trio looked around at each other and Carter shrugged. "That's not going to do her much good," Susan said gently. "You should all go and get some rest, too."  
  
Carter swallowed. "We're staying here," he said firmly.  
  
"Susan gave him a level look. "If you don't go on my suggestion, I'll bring Weaver up to talk to you," she threatened.  
  
"Low blow," Carter protested. "Okay, we'll go for a little while- AFTER we talk to Dr. Leegans."  
  
"The nephrologist?" Susan's face registered concern. "Why?"  
  
"They're still worried about her kidneys."  
  
*****  
  
_She was still observing the family- her family- in the happy house. She saw the front door open and the children abandoned their play to swarm around the newcomer, screeching "Daddy! Daddy!" as he caught each in turn into a huge hug. She saw herself come out of the kitchen, her face lit up with an expression that she recognized as love. She ran to him as though she hadn't seen him in months and he swung her up into a hug as if he were no bigger than the children.  
  
"How was your day off?" he asked.   
  
"We had a great day," she replied happily.   
  
"Yeah? What did you do?" he asked interestedly while hanging his jacket in the closet.  
  
"First we went by the elementary school to register Johnny for kindergarten in the fall."  
  
"We had lunch with Uncle Eric!" Johnny piped up.  
  
"An' Chloe an' Sean, too," the girl added.  
  
"That's right, Maggie, Chloe and Sean, too."  
  
"Oh, right, Susan told me about that," her husband recalled.  
  
She slipped her arms around his waist. "I can't believe my best friend married my brother," she murmured. He kissed her softly. "I thought your best friend married you," he teased.  
  
"The other best friend, John," she reminded him.  
  
"I know."  
_  
*****  
  
"Dr. Carter, sorry that took so long," Frank Leegans strode into the ICU with a clipboard tucked under one arm.  
  
"Dr. Leegans," Carter acknowledged him. Leegans took the clipboard and flipped several pages, skimming over it.  
  
"Ah, nurse Lockhart. Um, the second kidney has not begun to function as we were hoping it would. Also, the working one seems to have declined a little. We're watching it closely, but as I'm sure you know, this is something that highly concerns us."  
  
Carter nodded, tightlipped.  
  
"What might happen?" Maggie asked.  
  
"It might recover again, it might decline further. I don't think that there will be anything drastic happening though. However, we'll have it on constant monitoring. Now I'm sorry to bear this news and run, but I have an emergency awaiting me." With that, he disappeared through the doors, leaving the anxious family to await the next bit of news.  
  
"We should probably find a hotel," Eric said at last.  
  
"No, you'll stay at my grandmother's place."  
  
"We can't impose-" Maggie started.  
  
"It's no bother. But we better go before we collapse, or before Susan sends Weaver after me."  



	6. Expect the Unexpected

**Author's Note:** I am not a doctor, or any type of medical personnel. Please forgive any errors i made in that department. A million thanks to Carolyn for her s and threats, etc. Also to Carolyn and Carrie for offering their approval of the new...um... *perspective* that i introduce in this. I don't want to give it away, so i'll merely offer the following word for you to ponder: ERSAN.  
  
*****  
And the Moment...  
*****  
  
CHAPTER 6: EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It had been four days since the accident. Abby was still heavily medicated and the slow but noticeable decline of her kidneys was a cause of great concern.  
  
Eric sat alone at his sister's bedside. Carter and Maggie had gone to pick up some food from O'Leary's. It was the first chance Eric had to be alone with Abby.  
  
Hey big sis, he said to her. I've only got three more days to hang around and keep you out of trouble. You've gotta wake up so I can tell you I love you. his voice cracked a little as he continued, I don't know what we'd do without you- Maggie and I. And John. He's going crazy with worry about you, kiddo. You can't do this to him.   
  
a forced cough behind him caused him to jump. He turned to see a pretty doctor with streaked blonde hair looking both sad and embarrassed. He remembered a few days before when she had brought them food from Doc Magoo's. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to listen in, she said softly. I didn't think anyone was here with her.  
  
It's OK, he said.  
  
I haven't gotten much chance to come and see her, she explained guiltily. We're shorthanded down in ER and I haven't even had time to come and see my best friend. She offered him a hand. Susan Lewis.  
  
Eric Wyczenski.  
  
You're Abby's brother?  
  
You sound surprised.  
  
Oh, no, it's just-she didn't tell me you were so...so...  
  
he joked.  
  
she blurted, then promptly turned very red and looked away.  
  
Eric also flushed slightly.  
  
Susan covered her face. Listen to me. Why am I acting like this when she's lying there barely clinging- she broke off into a choked sob.  
  
Eric acted without thinking, standing to comfort her, pulling her into his arms. She accepted his embrace and leaned into him willingly.  
  
Hey, hey, he said quietly. She'll be okay. She will.  
  
She looked up to him with teary eyes. You sound like you haven't even convinced yourself of that.  
  
I haven't.  
  
But you expect me to believe it?  
  
No, but you could humor me and pretend to.  
  
She let out a laugh, amazed that already they were bantering like old friends. Thanks. I needed that. She pulled herself from him and stepped over to look down at Abby.  
  
I know.  
  
Listen, um, I'm going to grab something to eat before i go back to the ER. You wouldn't want to join me would you? The last words were spoken shyly, very uncharacteristic for Susan.  
  
I would like that, he said, forgetting that his mother and Carter were en route with food. He watched her as she squeezed her best friends hand.  
  
It's Susan, Abby. You have to wake up so I can fill you in on the ER gossip. Wait until you get a load of Randi's new boyfriend. She glanced at eric and he smiled encouragingly. I'm going to steal your little' brother away for a while but don't worry, i'll give him back. Hang in there, okay? she wiped away the tears that escaped and took a deep breath. I'm ready now, she told Eric.  
  
*****  
  
_She'd been watching herself and her family for what seemed like years. She'd felt her own small battle of pride and regret the day that Johnny entered Kindergarten. He had barely edged out a goodbye before taking off to run around with his cousin Sean and other little boys. A wave of disappointment swept over her briefly. He let go so easily! she'd cried to her husband when they were both at work that day.   
  
Did you want him to scream for you to stay with him? John asked sensibly.  
  
Abby pouted.  
  
He'll be okay, he's growing up. Why don't you go talk to Susan? She's in the same state of near-hysteria that you are.  
  
she narrowed her eyes. Watch it, buster.  
  
he backed away defensively, but then both laughed and he moved back to her and wrapped his arms around her. It's hard to watch them grow up. he sighed. Before you know it he'll be crashing my Jeep.  
  
He's never going to drive that thing! We'll get him a safer car.  
  
We'll worry about that in eleven years or so. He punctuated the sentence with a kiss and went to check on labs for a patient.  
  
the sequence seemed to fast forward to stop at Abby arriving in the parking lot of the same elementary school. This time she had Maggie in tow and she took a secret delight in her daughter's reluctance to part with her. The girl wore a brand-new Powerpuff Girls backpack,and she stayed shyly by abby's side as they entered the kindergarten classroom. They stood near the doorway and looked around the colorful little classroom. A pretty little girl approached Maggie, smiling.  
  
Lookit! Your backpack's just like mine! she turned around to proudly display her identical backpack to Maggie. Maggie looked up to her mother.  
  
Why don't you go play, sweetie? Abby suggested.  
  
Yeah, c'mon! the blonde child begged. She reached to her backpack and tugged three plush dolls out of it; one of each Powerpuff Girl. You can play whichever one you want to!  
  
Hesitatingly Maggie selected the Blossom doll. My name's Maggie.  
  
I'm Sarah. C'mon! We gotta save Townsville! she took Maggie's hand and the children settled onto the carpet and soon had the dolls zooming through the air, guided by chubby little hands.  
  
Here we are again, Susan sighed from beside her. She had Chloe in hand, but the dark-haired girl tugged away and ran to where Maggie and Sarah were playing. Within seconds she had the Buttercup toy in hand and was flying her alongside the other two. They watched their daughters playing, neither girl paying any attention to her mother. This is depressing, Susan reported. I think it's time that we have a meeting with our two favorite men.  
  
Eric and John?  
  
No, the other favorites! Ben and Jerry!  
  
Does my brother know about this Jerry guy? Abby asked in mock suspicion.  
  
Please! Who do you think ran to get him at two in the morning both times I was pregnant?  
  
The two left together as the school's bell trilled loudly.  
  
_*****  
  
Carter and Maggie were in the Jeep, the smell of the hot food wafting from the carryout bags in the back seat. Neither spoke; they merely listened to the jazz station on the radio. It was currently playing a beautiful, slow Nat King Cole tune that Carter knew Abby was fond of. It made him feel closer to her, somehow, listening to the beloved lyrics.   
  
Without warning, the serenity of the song was interrupted by the piercing tone of Carter's pager. He dug it from his pocket and asked Maggie to read out the numbers on it while he concentrated on weaving through the heavy expressway traffic.  
  
She squinted at the digits on the illuminated display. she read out.  
  
He floored it, letting out a low yet horrible sound like a moan and turning deathly white.  
  
What is it? Maggie demanded fearfully, bracing herself as the Jeep hit seventy miles per hour.  
  
It's a signal I arranged with the hospital.  
  
Is it Abby?  
  
Yes, and it's bad, came the grim response.  
  
They reached the hospital in record time, Carter parking the Jeep recklessly across three spaces before rushing into the building.  
  
He burst through the ICU doors, Maggie on his tail.  
  
Abby's bed was empty.  
  
What's happening? he practically pounced on the nearest nurse.  
  
She went into renal failure. She's in the OR now with Dr. Corday.  
  
Where the hell is Eric?  
  
the nurse shrugged.  
  
Damn it! he pounded a fist on the tabletop.  
  
Keep it down, Dr. Carter, the nurse snapped warningly. Go up to Surgical Waiting. Someone will be with you as soon as possible.  
  
Carter looked as though he was going to say something further, but Maggie took a viselike grip on his arm.  
  
Please send my son up when he returns, Maggie said before steering Carter out of the room. Calm down! she hissed at him as they got into the hall. You're not helping things by making a scene!  
  
I'm fine, he said flatly, but he looked to her with new respect. You've changed, Maggie, he observed.  
  
She shrugged. Abby was right. It took me too long to realize it. I was tired of it all, and I was ashamed of the life I had created for my children. It was hard to change, though. Hard to get used to taking daily doses of Lithium.  
  
I understand, he said, remembering his time in Atlanta.  
  
By this time they had reached the Surgical Family Waiting room and settled into two marginally comfortable chairs. It was only moments later that Eric burst into the room.  
  
What happened? he demanded breathlessly.  
  
Her kidneys crashed. Where the hell were you?!  
  
I went to the cafeteria, Eric explained. Don't yell at me, it's not my fault!  
  
Carter took a deep breath. I'm sorry. I'm just really... he trailed off.  
  
Anxious? Worried? Terrified? Eric supplied. So am I.  
  
I know. I just...panicked.  
  
I understand, man, but all we can do is wait.  
  
That's what I tried to tell him, Maggie put in. Meanwhile, I think Eric and I need to talk. Could you excuse us?  
  
He knew that Maggie was going to tell Eric what she had told John on the way up to the waiting room, to apologize to him.   
  
I'll go down to ER and give Weaver updates like i promised to.  
  
Find Susan Lewis and tell her what's going on, Eric requested. Carter didn't question this, only nodded.  
  
The ER was bustling. Business as usual, he murmured. No doctors were in sight, but Erin Harkins, the med student he'd shown around only the week before, was at the reception desk sorting charts.  
  
Dr. Carter! What are you doing down here? How's Abby?  
  
he began, but was cut off as paramedics rolled a gurney through the doors from the ambulance bay.  
  
Twenty-nine year old female, MVA. BP is ninety over forty... the paramedic rattled off the stats as Carter rushed alongside, Erin close behind.  
  
What's open? he called out.  
  
Curtain three, someone replied.  
  
Lily and Chuny appeared and assisted them with the yellow latex gowns and gloves before donning their own. Luka Kovac also came out of nowhere to assist.  
  
Laceration of the right femoral artery! Chuny carefully unwrapped the bandage and dodged the jet of blood that rushed from the wound.  
  
Carter's head began to spin. He looked down to the patient's face and saw Abby's features superimposed over hers. Wordlessly he turned and fled from the room.  
  
The suture room was unoccupied. He darted into it, sank on the floor and sobbed uncontrollably.  
  
Susan, Weaver, and Pratt were working diligently over an elderly man in Trauma One when they heard a door slam and saw a figure zip past.  
  
Was that Carter? Weaver asked in surprise.  
  
Have you got this? Susan questioned and at Weaver's nod, she removed her bloodstained trauma gown and went after him.  
  
She found him in the suture room, knees drawn up and head down. He was crying. Susan sat down beside him. Is it Abby? she asked shakily.   
  
He didn't reply. She touched his shoulder, tentatively, and heard his nearly inaudible words.  
  
I can't handle this anymore.  
  
What's going on? Susan asked.  
  
Her kidneys...they took her back into the OR...God, Susan, I can't lose her. I can't live without her. It was the closest he'd come to admitting how much he loved Abby.  
  
Oh God... Susan moaned.   
  
What am I going to do if she doesn't--?  
  
Don't say that! Susan said fiercely, ignoring the doubts that lingered in her own mind. She stood and offered her hands to help him up.  
  
Where are we going?  
  
  
  
He allowed her to help him up and followed her out of the room. She stopped by a vending machine and purchased a can of Coke. Opening it, she pushed it into Carter's hand and he mechanically took a deep sip of the cold drink.  
  
They didn't talk in the elevator, but Carter managed to down the entire can of soda before they even reached the roof. It seemed to refresh him a little. He followed Susan right up to the rail and they stared out among the city lights. Beyond the outskirts of the city, Lake Michigan sparkled with the reflection of thousands of lights that surrounded it.  
  
The view was one that brought with it a sense of peace, however temporary it may have been. Carter breathed deeply of the night air and let the chill of the air envelop him.  
  
When Abby wakes up, Susan said into the darkness, And that's *when*, NOT *if*, you'll be right there beside her, and she'll know you've been with her every minute possible. She'll know how much you love her, and she'll know how much she loves you. You two were meant to be. You were always meant to be. God is not going to take that away from you.  
  
Carter turned startled eyes to her. He'd never known Susan to be especially religious. She took no notice of the expression he wore, but changed the subject.  
  
Did Eric find you?  
  
Yeah. He and Maggie are having a   
  
About her disease?  
  
How did you meet Eric? he asked, curiosity distracting him from his troubles.  
  
Susan was glad it was dark, so Carter couldn't see the pink tinge that flooded her cheeks. I went to see Abby and he was there. He- comforted me. Then we went to the cafeteria and, well, we got to talking.   
  
Carter thought of the idea of his ex-girlfriend and his current girlfriend's brother together. He was interested to find that he rather liked the idea.  
  
Let's head back and see if they've learned anything yet, he suggested. And Susan? Thanks.  
  
She gave him a huge hug. She really will be okay, she whispered.  
  
*****  
  
In Surgical Family Waiting, Maggie and Eric were talking with a haggard-looking Dr. Romano when Carter and Susan arrived.  
  
Carter, Susan, he greeted. Shouldn't you be down in ER? he asked Susan pointedly.  
  
I want to know about Abby first, she said firmly. Romano sighed a dramatic put-out sigh.  
  
Corday's still finishing up with her, but it's looking good. The good kidney is functioning again, plus she worked a little on the other one and thinks that it may recover more than we originally thought. That's all I've got, now get back to where they need you. he swept out of the room.  
  
Susan gave an encouraging smile to Carter and an altogether different kind of smile to Eric before returning to the ER.  
  
She's going to be okay, Eric closed his eyes in relief.  
  
*****  
  
Carter was sitting with Maggie by Abby's bed as usual two days later. Eric had gone to have lunch at Doc's with Susan on her break, promising to bring back something for the two of them. Maggie was showing Carter some pictures she had of her children when they were young. The ten-year-old Abby Wyczenski had a sparkle in her eyes that had very nearly burned out. It was only recently that he had seen her eyes brighten up again.  
  
It was one reason I didn't like to take my medicine, Maggie explained. We had so much fun before Abby grew out of it. Like here- she was seven. She showed him another photo, where she and Abby had done each others' make up. Abby's was perfectly applied while Maggie's was heavy and slightly sloppy, just as you'd expect from the hand of a seven-year-old. Yet another picture showed Abby and Eric laughing in a tent that was set up in the living room of their home.  
  
Suddenly there was a groan from the bed. Both jumped up to look at her. Her eyelids fluttered and she opened her eyes slowly, blinking at the harsh fluorescent lights as she focused on the figures above.  
  
Abby, sweetheart! It's mom.  
  
Abby's voice, hoarse from disuse, sounded raspy. She barely spoke above a whisper.  
  
Do you know who that is? Maggie gestured to Carter. Abby studied him for a second then turned back to her mother, brow furrowed.  
  
You ordered a pizza?  
  
_It's the morphine.._.Carter reminded himself, trying not to be disappointed.  
  
That's John Carter, honey, Maggie said. Abby's face lit up.  
  
she breathed. I dreamed about you. Joe McCarthy was chasing you but he couldn't catch you cause you were riding a cheetah. she beckoned him closer and he leaned down to hear her next words. I'm REALLY glad he didn't catch you, she confided.  
  
Me too, he whispered, unaware of the tears rolling down his cheeks.  
  
Why are you crying?  
  
I'm happy to see you.   
  
Have I been gone? she asked, confused.  
  
He didn't answer. Are you in pain, Abby? he asked. She nodded. Okay, we'll get you something for it.  
  
*****  
  
Eric and Susan walked together down the ward that housed the Intensive Care units.   
  
I feel almost guilty, Eric said out of the blue. My sister is unconscious in the hospital and I'm dating her best friend.  
  
I understand, Susan giggled. My best friend is in the same situation and I'm dating her brother!  
  
They entered the third ICU area, where they were amazed to see the exuberant Carter and Maggie.  
  
She woke up, Carter said simply, yet happily.


	7. Color My World

Author's Note: Special thanks go to Carolyn and Carrie for their heartfelt approval of the parts they read. To The Princess for not doing anything that would result in Abby's untimely death. The Goddess is pleased with you. Thanks also to all of you who have sent me wonderful reviews. Thanks especially to my dad for identifying me as a grumble while he was all morphinated, giving me material to steal-er, borrow- for this chapter.  
  
Disclaimers: Not mine, never will be. Though in my wildest dreams i DO own Noah Wyle... Color my World is a Chicago song (the band, not the movie). A very pretty one.  
  
*****  
And The Moment...  
*****  
  
((previously on ER: Abby woke up.))  
  
  
CHAPTER 7: COLOR MY WORLD  
  
  
Eric looked down at Abby. She was unconscious but there was a new glow to her face that had not been there before.  
  
What did she say? he asked.  
  
She wasn't awake very long. She said she was in pain so they gave her more morphine, Carter reported. They'll start reducing the doses soon. She's basically addicted now but that's easily remedied without causing any further stress on her.  
  
Was she aware of what happened?  
  
Not really. She wasn't entirely lucid. But she woke up. Carter already looked better than he had in days. She's really going to be okay.  
  
How much longer is she going to be in here? Eric glanced around the ICU.  
  
It's still a long road, Carter cautioned. She'll be in here for at least another week until they're sure that everything is recovering smoothly.  
  
I have to report back to base in two days, Eric said hesitantly. I was only allowed a week's leave. Carter noticed that Susan looked distinctly unhappy at the news.  
  
You didn't tell me that! Maggie said sharply.  
  
We both had more important things to worry about, he pointed out.  
  
Susan interrupted apologetically. I'm sorry to have to run, but my break was over- she glanced at her watch - about twenty minutes ago. Weaver's going to murder me.  
  
Tell her the news, Carter requested. Susan nodded and Eric escorted her to the hall outside.  
  
I can't believe you've got to go so soon, she murmured, slipping her arms about his neck.  
  
I know. I wish my time didn't belong to the Air Force. It's only another year before I'm free, though.  
  
*Only* a year? Susan mocked wryly. A lot can happen in a year.  
  
A lot can happen overnight too, he pointed out. Evidence of that is in there under the watchful eyes of John Carter.  
  
I hope Abby knows just how much he loves her. The rest of us have known it longer than some care to remember. The look she had on her face screamed of irony.  
  
You two dated! Eric realized. You and John!  
  
Yeah, but only for a few months. I knew even then that he was in love with her.  
  
What about you? He asked softly.  
  
What about me?  
  
Were you in love?  
  
she answered truthfully. I thought for a while that I could fall in love with him, but we just didn't click right.  
  
That's too bad, he lied.  
  
Is it really?  
  
he confirmed before leaning to kiss her.  
  
She returned it with fervor. The kiss lasted several minutes before Eric slowly pulled away.  
  
I think we click right, he said huskily.  
  
*****  
  
Carter and Maggie watched the couple walk out of sight.  
  
What do you think of that? Maggie murmured.  
  
More importantly, what do you think Abby will say?  
  
Maggie would have answered had Eric not come back in at that moment. He looked at the two faces.  
  
Been talking about me, huh? he said, not at all angrily.  
  
Just wondering what Abby's reaction to you two will be, Carter laughed. Eric actually paled.  
  
Maybe, ah, we shouldn't bother her with that until she's completely better, he began, imagining what, exactly, his sister would say when she found out that her baby brother was dating her best friend.  
  
Maggie stood and stretched. I need to get a little air, she announced. I'll be back.  
  
When she was gone Eric immediately turned to Carter. I have an idea of what Abby will think, he confided, but I want to know what you think.  
  
Carter asked, taken aback. Why me? It's none of my business.  
  
Of course it is. You're the closest thing to a brother I've got, and you know Susan better than a lot of people...  
  
Carter knew that Eric had guessed, or been told, of his own history with Susan and that by giving his approval (which he would do more than willingly), he would be not only appeasing Eric's worries but also he would be letting Eric know that he, Carter, thought that they were right for each other.  
  
What I think is, you and Susan are good for each other. Carter spoke honestly. You just have to slow her down every now and then and make her let you take care of her. She's very independent.  
  
It took me a good fifteen minutes to talk her into letting me pay for lunch, Eric told him.  
  
Yep, that's her. They both laughed a little before Eric became a little somber as he leaned over to smooth Abby's covers.  
  
You're the best thing to ever happen to her, you know, he said quietly.  
  
She's the best thing in my life, Carter responded. This is tearing me apart.  
  
I can tell. You try to hide it but it shows in your eyes. I'm just glad that someone is there who cares and who will be there for Abby to lean on. That's what she needs most. She's always been the strong one. She had to grow up too fast-- we both did.  
  
But you both turned out okay in spite of that.  
  
That's Abby's doing. If she hadn't been so tough on me I probably would have ended up a delinquent in some prison somewhere.  
  
She's tough. We should have realized that she'd never let a little car accident stop her, Carter said proudly.  
  
Do you think she'll wake up again before I have to go? Eric asked hopefully.  
  
Probably. She might even recognize you. But If you want to see her awake you'll have to be around pretty much 24/7. Carter took a drink from the can of Dr. Pepper he had.  
  
Eric nodded. I plan to, except tomorrow night Susan wants to take me to a place that she goes to a lot. Hopefully I won't miss Abby while we're at the Lava Lounge.  
  
Carter choked on his drink. Coughing, he managed to sputter, She's taking you to the Lava Lounge??  
  
Is that bad?  
  
If you want to get plastered and go deaf on your last night together for awhile, no, it's fine, Carter said.  
  
I'd like to take her somewhere nice, maybe something romantic. Italian or French. Any ideas?  
  
Carter thought for a few minutes. There's Coco Pazza uptown, it has good Italian food, and- oh! I know the perfect place! There's a French restaurant on La Salle called Everest. It's on the fortieth floor of a skyscraper and the view is magnificent. She'll love it. He filled Eric in on the details of the restaurant. Make a reservation. Be sure to speak to the Maitre'd, request a table by the window, and mention the name Millicent Carter.  
  
That sounds good, Eric agreed. Just remind me not to eat anything all day. A seven-course meal!   
  
*****  
  
It was the next afternoon that Carter came into the ICU to see that not only was Abby awake, but that her brother was struggling to keep her from getting out of bed.  
  
They need me in the ER! she insisted, slurring a little. She caught sight of Carter. He won't let me go! I'm needed in ER! Hear that beeping? Weaver's paging me. She'll be pissed if I don't show!!! She looked flushed and Carter winced, knowing that if she wasn't on such strong painkillers, the act of moving so much would be causing her considerable pain.  
  
he said gently, That's your heart monitor beeping. You need to stay in bed for a while. They'll be okay in the ER without you.  
  
Abby stopped struggling abruptly. she said, seemingly convinced.  
  
Are you in pain? Carter asked, concerned.  
  
I'm not in pain. Why would I be in pain? Unless this guy gave me some bruises. She glowered in Eric's direction.  
  
Carter hated that Abby was too drugged up to be aware of what was going on, and of who was around her. He could see that Eric was disappointed that Abby had no clue who he was.  
  
Is it like, amnesia? Eric asked worriedly.   
  
Carter shook his head. The morphine just makes her completely disoriented. It's frustrating, I know, he added. He spoke to Abby. Do you know who this is? He gestured to Eric.  
  
Abby nodded sagely. That's a grumble.  
  
*****  
  
A _what_? Susan asked in the borrowed Jeep that night.  
  
That's kind of what I said too. John said not to worry about it. I just wish that I could have had a chance to talk to her-a real conversation.  
  
You will. We'll call every day.  
  
he teased.  
  
She blushed. _I'll_ call, she corrected. You need to get in the left lane here to go to the Lava Lounge.  
  
We're not going to the Lava Lounge, he reported. I received a warning about that place.  
  
Susan grumbled. I should have guessed. Where are we going?  
  
It's a surprise.  
  
she protested laughingly, secretly pleased by the mystery.  
  
You'll see when we get there! he said maddeningly.  
  
Come on! she begged.  
  
He ignored her pleading and began singing, purposely off-key. As time goes onnnnn, I realiiiize just what you meeean to meeee...  
  
Oh no, Susan groaned in mock agony. That song is too good for you to treat it like that!  
  
Color my wooooorrlld with hope of loooving yooouu, he ended the song with a flourish. He glanced over to her to see the feigned irritation on her face. You didn't like my serenade?  
  
If I wasn't so curious about where we're going I'd threaten to tell you to eat alone just for that, she told him.  
  
You wouldn't tell a poor lonely soldier to eat alone on his last night of leave, Eric pointed out.  
  
Damn. You win. They both laughed. But you're not really a soldier, she added.  
  
Minor details... He steered Carter's Jeep into a parking deck.  
  
Where ARE we? Susan demanded. He tuned to her. The shocked expression he pasted on was so obviously phony that she had a hard time to keep from bursting into paroxysms of laughter.  
  
You mean you've never been here?  
  
I don't know, she said, playing along. Why don't you tell me where here' is?  
  
He gave a very offended sigh. I can't believe you don't know. So sad, so very sad. And you, a Chicago girl!  
  
She gave him a Look.  
  
Okay, okay, he surrendered. We're going to the fortieth floor.  
  
The fortieth- realization dawned on her suddenly. You're taking me to Everest?!   
  
Gallantly, he offered his arm and she looped her own through it. Shall we? he smiled at her.  
  
Of course, she said grandly.


	8. Return and Departure

Author's Note: this chapter is intended to lead up to the next. It's kind of choppy but I did that on purpose. I hope it isn't too confusing!!! Thanks go out of course to Carolyn, Carrie, and the rest of the crowd who enjoy nagging me about this. Also to Mel, because the ultimate hater of any form of ship actually gave me a pretty good review.  
  
Disclaimers: [insert the usual disclaimers here]  
  
*****  
And the Moment...  
*****  
  
  
CHAPTER 8: RETURN AND DEPARTURE  
  
  
  
The dark-haired woman entered the ER, observing it carefully. It hadn't changed much in the past few years. She marveled at the fact that she hadn't been back here since the day she had made the most important decision of her life. She missed it, really. She missed the people. That was probably why she had come back to County when she had returned to Chicago to visit her mother. She felt guilty that they had lost contact with their old friends from County, that they had let their new lives absorb so much of their time. She even regretted it, and she knew that her husband did too.  
  
A shocked and pleased Haleh Adams was calling her name. What are you doing here? She ran over and gave Carol a huge hug.  
  
Hi! You look great! Carol noted the weight that Haleh had dropped.  
  
Thanks, you do too! she noted Carol's rounding stomach. Just one this time?  
  
Carol let a gentle hand rest on the protrusion of her belly. We're due in three months. Doug wants a boy but i think of the thought of a boy growing up with two older sisters... they both laughed.  
  
Bring the family with you?  
  
Yeah, Doug took the girls to Lincoln Park. We're here visiting Mom. He dropped me here and they'll be back to say hello and to come and get me.  
  
Now, girl, Haleh's expression changed to one of admonition. This is the part where I yell at you for vanishing without a word. Now you fill me in on what's happened to all of you. You ever get around to tagging Ross' at the end of your name?  
  
Carol proudly displayed the diamond solitaire and the platinum band that resided on her left hand and Haleh gave a delighted squeal. Suddenly Carol was surrounded by her former coworkers, being hugged and asked questions from everyone.   
  
Bout time, Lydia smirked.   
  
Yeah, yeah, Carol groaned good-naturedly. so what's new around here? Who's still around?  
  
The nurses threw a few somber glances around before Haleh spoke up. Honey, we got to talk.  
  
*****  
  
They were all four gathered around Abby's bed. She was awake and fairly lucid, though she still had no idea what had happened. Eric was once again wearing his dress uniform, though Gamma had had it cleaned and pressed for him during his stay in her home.  
  
You have to go so soon? Abby said in dismay. But you just got here.  
  
I know, he soothed. But the Air Force apparently can't fly a few planes without me. Don't you worry, I'll be in touch with you. This made Abby smile. Had she been more alert,she would have noticed that one of her brother's hands was clinched tightly with that of Susan Lewis. Since she apparently didn't catch this, it was silently agreed that no one would mention it just yet. Eric dropped a light kiss on his sister's forehead and managed to drape an arm loosely over his shoulder in a hug.  
  
Susan and I are going to take Eric to the airport and then we'll both be back. Is there anything you'd like while we're out? Carter asked  
  
she requested pitifully.  
  
No way, came the cheerful reply. try to sleep, okay? We'll sneak in something good for you.  
  
The trio departed and under Maggie's watchful eye, Abby soon surrendered to sleep.  
  
The ride to the airport was quiet. Carter played the radio softly; the passenger beside him was an overstuffed duffel bag and a small carryon. Susan and Eric, by their own accord, were crunched together in the uncomfortable back seat of the Jeep. Carter made it a point to not listen in to their conversation. It was hard to hear over the noise of the Wrangler, anyhow. He focused on the music, and when *their* song came on he had to turn up the radio to hear the Lifehouse song. His and Abby's song.  
  
Their song, Susan murmured to Eric. He nodded. Why don't we have a song? she asked suddenly.  
  
I thought we did, he protested. he began to sing again, barely above a whisper, and more on-key this time. Promise your love That I've waited to share And dreams of our moments together. Color my world with hope-  
  
-of loving you, she finished the song with him. He pulled her to him-not that it was far in the small confines of the back seat- and they sat close, listening to the song that meant so much to two people they both loved.  
  
O'Hare was no more crowded than usual, though that wasn't saying much. They found the gate for Eric's flight and he checked in. In a little deli nearby they sat down and ordered thick subs with chips to eat lunch. It killed time as they all spent an hour or so picking through the sandwiches that none especially wanted. Giving up, they returned to the hard plastic waiting chairs by the gate. About ten minutes before boarding time Eric turned to Carter and said simply, I don't think I need to tell you to take care of Abby, but just in case I'm wrong about you I'll go ahead and tell you that if you hurt my sister i'll be back to kick your ass. His tone was light, knowing full well that John Carter would never do anything to hurt Abby. The two men embraced as brothers before Carter quietly excused himself, pointing out a touristy gift shop as his destination, leaving the couple alone.  
  
So this is it. Susan couldn't think of appropriate words.  
  
He caught her hands, entwining their fingers together. This isn't it. It' sounds like forever. He gave a half-smile. Don't think you can get rid of me that easily.  
  
It may as well be forever, Susan pouted a little.  
  
Hey, don't say that, he protested. Nothing is really forever.  
  
Oh, how encouraging,Susan said wryly.  
  
That's not what I mean and you know it! Besides, he added practically, Isn't it a little too soon to be thinking of forever?  
  
Maybe you're right, she admitted, but it's never too soon to hope for forever.  
  
He pulled her to him and she settled against his tall form, arms around him and his around her. They stayed that way for several minutes, not speaking, just reading each other's thoughts. Susan leaned her head against Eric's chest and listened to the strong and steady beat of his heart while he gently stroked her back.  
  
They were reluctant to part when the flight was announced for boarding. Susan refused to let herself cry. She was _not going to cry_. She wanted to say something but just could not find the words so instead she put a hand in his hair and pulled him down to kiss him.  
  
Finally, breathless, they separated. Eric hoisted his carryon bag over his shoulder and dropped one last hard kiss on her lips before trudging to the gate that led to the airplane outside.  
  
Susan watched him go, unaware of Carter's return until he put a comforting arm around her shoulders. She flashed him a thankful glance as they watched the plane take off.  
  
You okay? Carter questioned.  
  
Susan turned to leave and he followed.  
  
Reaching the Jeep, Susan immediately rolled the canvas top up.  
  
What are you doing? Carter demanded.  
  
It's a sunny day in Chicago and I need something that will make me feel a little better and if the wind in my face does the trick then so be it.  
  
He didn't dare object.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Oh my God, Carol whispered in disbelief. It was unthinkable. Tears formed in her eyes as she thought about her old friend, a man of less than forty years, gone. Forever. How could she break it to Doug?  
  
The other things that the nurses had told her seemed pale in comparison, except the news of the accident that involved Abby Lockhart, the nurse who delivered Carol's daughter Kate and who had entered her ER rotation as a medical student soon after. She was not surprised to hear that she was quite serious with County's current Chief Resident; anyone who saw the two interact knew there was something between them right from the start.  
  
Hey, there she is! Carol barely heard the words before two three-year-old girls attacked her full force.  
  
Mommy! Daddy took us to the park! It was so cool, the curly-haired child said excitedly. Her twin had straighter, lighter hair,, but it was obvious that when they were older she would be the beauty of the two.  
  
That's great, Kate, Carol said. Doug watched her steadily, and she knew he wondered why she had been crying.  
  
Look at these two! Haleh crooned. They're so big now! She saw that both children were puzzled.  
  
Last time I saw you, you were both little bitty, she explained.   
  
Girls, why don't you go with nurse Haleh and meet some of Mommy and Daddy's old friends, Carol told them. Haleh instantly offered her hands to the twins, who took them and let her lead them around the ER.  
  
What is it? Doug's voice, deep and concerned, came from beside her.   
  
It's Mark, she stated, her eyes welling up again. He died last year of a brain tumor, Doug.  
  
He paled and she put her arms around him, offering both comfort and support. Doug's eyes, too, filled with tears.  
  
Why didn't we keep in touch? he murmured.  
  
i don't know, either, she said softly. But I regret it more than I ever thought I would.  
  
They had several minutes in which they calmed down, and Carol filled Doug in on what had happened since her departure. The ER doors from the ambulance bay opened to admit two distinctly windblown people. Carter was bearing a styrofoam cup from Doc Magoo's and a straw that was still wrapped. He stopped abruptly at the sight of the couple before them. Susan didn't notice the surroundings as she concentrated on finding the hairbrush that she knew was somewhere in her purse.  
  
Dr. Ross? Carol? They whipped around.  
  
Doug exclaimed, not recognizing Susan since she had flipped her head down to brush her tangled hair back into a tidy ponytail.  
  
What are you two doing here? I thought you'd disappeared into the black hole of Seattle.  
  
We did, but now we're back.  
  
The sadness in their eyes didn't go unnoticed and he realized they must have just heard about Mark.  
  
It's good to see you, Carter. I hear you're Chief Resident these days.  
  
I am, Carter said simply.   
  
Who is your friend here? Doug teased. Susan was still working on getting the knots out of her hair.  
  
Remind me to never ride in that car with the top down, she mumbled, finally succeeding in detangling her hair and pulling it back. It was then that she realized who Carter was talking to.  
  
She went to him and gave him a warm hug before going over to greet Carol.  
  
Is that Susan Lewis under that blonde hair?  
  
The one and only, she smiled. She glanced down at Carol's rounded stomach. Is this number three? she questioned, having been told of Doug and Carol's saga together.  
  
Carol confirmed.  
  
It's great to see you both, but I have to run upstairs. He shook hands with Doug and disappeared.  
  
He's really serious about Abby, isn't he? Carol asked.  
  
You have no idea, Susan responded.  
  
Doug frowned in thought. Not that doctor, Abby Keaton?  
  
No, no, Susan corrected. Abby Lockhart is a nurse in the ER.  
  
She used to be an OB nurse, Carol added. In fact, she helped deliver Kate. I'd like very much to see her.  
  
Susan glanced at the clock. I'm not on for twenty minutes. I'll take you up there, she offered.  
  
That would be great. You can tell me about Arizona on the way.  
  
Susan laughed. Arizona won't take that long.  
  
*****  
  
Carter entered the ICU carefully. He saw Maggie, sitting next to Abby, reading aloud to her from a paperback.  
  
Did you see Eric off okay? Maggie asked. He nodded. I like Susan, she added.   
  
Abby asked groggily.  
  
he presented the styrofoam cup. I brought you a surprise! he helped her sit up just enough that she could sip the drink without choking.  
  
she said at the taste of the chocolate milkshake. It's not as good as Doc's, though, she said by way of mild reproof.  
  
You're right. He took it all in stride. I promise that next time we'll get Doc's.  
  
*****  
  
The plane had been in the air for an hour. Eric, from his window seat, watched the landscapes change below him as the plane traveled westward. He saw cities give way to rolling green countryside and back to cities again before he finally sighed and opened his carryon. As he selected a book and pulled it out, a folded piece of paper fell out of the bag. He reached for it and opened it slowly.  
  
*****  
  
Susan had worked a half-shift that day, which was only slightly less exhausting than a full shift. She couldn't wait to get home and soak in a long bath. She set her purse down on the end table and rooted around for the handful of change that she planned to toss into her change jar. She was surprised to find something folded up in the pocket-an old grocery list or perhaps a forgotten bit of mail. She pulled it out and unfolded it.  
  
  
**************************  
END NOTES: I had not intended to bring the Ross family back in this. However, since Come to Seattle has been obliterated, I had to make a deal on this with the Princess. So CtS is gone, and thanks to everyone who read and reviewed it. I'm sorry, but i JUST couldn't finish it. The Rosses may or may not reappear in the story. I haven't decided.   
  
Oh and Princess, you didn't say i had to make them key characters! and don't you try any of those threats on me! i kept my part of the deal! ~The Goddess.  
  
I'm not sure when the next update will come. I'm going home for ten days (yay spring break) at the end of next week so i won't be working on it there. So...yeah...  
  
  
Thanks for reading!  
~AnaDi  
  



	9. Letters

A/N: As you probably guessed from the title, this chapter is composed entirely of letters between characters. Each font represents a different one and you should be able to tel which is who from the context. This is pretty short, and ends abruptly. Many thanks to The Princess for her nagging and beta-power, and to Mel, the biggest anti-shipper in the world, who still has the patience tolisten to me going on and on about this.  
  
Disclaimers: [insert the usuals here]  
  
*****  
And the Moment...  
*****  
  
CHAPTER NINE: LETTERS_  
  
  
  
Eric,  
Maybe I should feel bad for thinking that any good could possibly have come out of Abby's accident. And maybe i should feel worse for not feeling bad. In some strange way I feel that this may have been intended to bring us together (Fate and all that). The most important thing to say that while I regret the circumstance that we met under, I can't regret the meeting. I miss you already, and if Carter and your sister heard me saying things like this they'd never let me hear the end of it. It's going to be a long year.  
  
  
**Susan,  
I'm not very good at this, and doesn't help that I'm sitting here imagining what Abby will say when she learns about us. Stop laughing! I won't say I'm glad this all happened because I'm not. But I am glad that we were there for each other. You probably felt as I did--watching on the sidelines with Carter and Maggie, trying to calm one or the other, but feeling kind of alone all the same. Rest assured that you won't feel that way as long as I have anything to say about it. You and John take care of Abby.**_**  
  
**Eric,  
I hope you are as good for this girl as she is for you. I like her every bit as much as I like John. I don't get to see my children happy often enough and call me crazy, but I believe that a fairy-tale-ending is in store. Both you and Abby will live happily ever after. I'm your mother; I know these things.**  
**  
_Eric,  
Abby was asking for you today! She's improved so much that by the end of the week she'll most likely move from ICU to CCU. That's the Critical Care Unit. Carter promised her a phone call to you when she's been moved. Then he left the room. I followed him and found him grinning through his tears. I didn't blame him, I felt the same. It's the most lucid she's been, especially with the cutback on the drugs in the past several days. Carter and I cried on each other's shoulders until your mom came and told Carter that Abby ordered an extra-thick milkshake. That's our Abby.  
  
**Abby,  
Sorry I couldn't be there longer with you, kiddo! Times like this make me wish that the Air Force didn't own my time. But my mind can rest knowing that John and Susan are there to keep you out of any more trouble. They're better than any of the MPs around here! Keep on shining and do what John tells you. He IS the doctor, after all.  
  
Susan,  
When I read your last letter I nearly cried in front of a lot of guys in my infantry. It's a good thing I read the milkshake part or I may have ended up in tears instead of laughing. I wish I'd been there for her to recognize me, but I guess i'll be happy with knowing that she missed me there. I miss me there, too, and I miss you.  
  
**_**Eric,  
I read your letter to Abby out loud to her and I think it really made her day. A few of her various -ologists (I won't bore you with the details) told us that she will be able to move to Critical Care tomorrow. You can guess how overjoyed we all are. Abby says that you owe her donuts, but she won't tell me what that means so I'll assume that you know or that the small doses of morphine she's still on are talking. She also says that your time after the Air Force will be more precious for the freedom. Now I KNOW it's the morphine. She sends love, as do your mother and Susan.  
  
_  
Abby,  
Whoa, now you have your boyfriend ganging up on me about the donuts? How the heck did you remember that, anyway? I'd send you fresh ones but the food here isn't exactly Krispy Kreme, so instead I'm enclosing two dollars. Tell John what to get.  
  
John,  
When I was thirteen I broke my leg and one night I talked her into going to a twenty-four hour grocery store to get me some donuts. She came back with the wrong kind and to this day maintains that I told her to get a raspberry jelly-filled and a cinnamon cruller even though she knows full-well that I'm allergic to raspberry and that i HATED cinnamon crullers. So here are my instructions: no matter what she asks for, get her one of those Bavarian cream ones and a blueberry cake donut, accompanied by the enclosed scrap of paper.  
  
_**[enclosed paper]**_  
You've been repaid in full.  
  
_**_Eric,  
I'm SO mad that I missed the phone call! The ER nazis had me on a shift. Meanwhile Maggie's been off on one mysterious errand or another and Abby doesn't remember your phone number. Maybe I'll get it out of one of them before you get this...  
  
_**Eric,  
I've been reduced from doctor to secretary since your sister is still indisposed though she's off the morphine drip, so here goes the dictation:  
Wish you were here so I could spend a day not speaking to you for the donuts. Carter and Mom enjoyed them.  
I just spent about ten minutes trying to get her to say more but she says that's it and even though she's pretending to sulk, she's grinning at the look she imagines you'll have on your face when you read that.  
  
_Mom,  
Have you talked to Abby yet? Told her what you told me? Life is short, you know. Don't waste any more time.  
  
_**Eric,  
I don't think she's quite ready to hear that yet. Meanwhile Susan cornered me this evening to get your number. For heaven's sake, why didn't you give it to her before you left???


	10. When I Fall in Love

Author's Note: This is technically the last chapter. However, since some things are still left unanswered, there will be a short epilogue, and the sequel will start to appear in mid-August. Thanks as always to the usual people for their encouragement, and to everyone who has sent me reviews during the course of this piece.  
  
Disclaimers: [insert the usuals here}. Title and song lyrics at the end belong to some songwriter, but since i know the song When I Fall in Love as sung by Nat King Cole, i will just attribute the song to him.  
  
*****  
And the Moment...  
*****  
  
CHAPTER 10: WHEN I FALL IN LOVE  
  
  
Abby yawned, wishing that her injuries didn't restrict her movement so much. She would kill for a good stretch right about now. The grogginess from the painkillers still left her feeling fuzzy, but she was alert enough to hate the confinement of the CCU bed. There was one other patient in the room, a surgical patient of Elizabeth Corday's. Sometimes when Elizabeth came to check on the young man, she would stop and chat briefly with Abby. Often Carter or her mother was there, sometimes Susan dropped by, and Eric called every few days.  
  
But she was still going stir crazy.  
  
Maggie appeared in the doorway of the CCU, looking very cheerful. Abby was mystified by her mother's behavior. She had never seen Maggie so...well...normal. She expected her to snap any minute. Something arrived at John's home for you this morning. Her mother was balancing an unwieldy cardboard box.  
  
What's that?  
  
It's from Eric. Maggie set the package on the edge of Abby's bed and used a key to slice the packing tape open. Inside there was a stack of magazines and books on tape, plus a Walkman and a huge pack of double-A batteries. Included was a note that simply stated, Bored yet?  
  
Abby grinned. He knows me, she said happily. She glanced at her mother, who was concentrating on a letter. She recognized, but couldn't make out her brother's writing. What's he saying? she queried.  
  
Maggie started, then hastily folded the letter up and tucked it into her handbag. He's, uh, just talking about planes and such. Asking how you are. You know.  
  
Abby knew her mother was lying but didn't comment. Where's Carter?  
  
He is out on an errand. He said he'll bring you something good for lunch, though.  
  
I'd kill to be able to go visit the ER, Abby murmured, then commented on her own words, I can't believe I just said that.  
  
Well surely they can give you a wheelchair to go down there? Maggie asked.  
  
If I could leave I wouldn't still be here, her daughter snapped.  
  
Okay, I'm sorry, Maggie became defensive. She changed the subject. Let's see what kinds of things Eric sent you.  
  
She started pulling the books on tape from the box, scattering them on the rolling table so that Abby could see them. There were about twenty of them, varying from classic literature and poetry up to some romance novels that Maggie herself had read many times.  
  
Do you want to listen to one now? Maggie suggested.  
  
Why not, Abby said unenthusiastically. However, she perked up a little as she spotted one title she knew well. _Leaves of Grass_, she smiled, gesturing to the tapes. Maggie loaded the batteries into the walkman, and tucked the first tape into it. She started to put the headphones onto Abby's head until Abby reached up and took them from her with her good hand.  
  
I can do it, Mom, she insisted impatiently. Maggie realized that she was threatening Abby's firm independence and backed off, watching as Abby awkwardly but successfully arranged the headset on herself with only one hand.  
  
Smiling a little, proud that her daughter could take care of herself, Maggie spoke. I'm going to go get some food.  
  
Abby was already lost in the Walt Whitman poetry.  
  
*****  
  
Carter, his arms laden with take-out bags from House of Blues, entered the hospital through the ER to pass off part of his burden to Susan.  
  
You're a lifesaver! she exclaimed, digging into the food.  
  
So I've been told, he joked. See you later.  
  
Entering Abby's room, he found her engrossed in music and a _People_ magazine. She spotted him and held up the magazine with a lopsided grin. I usually hate these, she commented. But I'm bored enough to read them.  
  
What are you listening to? he responded.  
  
She looked confused, then hit the stop button on her portable tape player.   
  
Carter repeated his question. Abby replied, _Leaves of Grass_. Eric sent me a bunch of books on tape. she eyed his paper bags in interest. What'd you bring to wash this down with? she gestured to the remnants of her hospital-food lunch.  
  
Something special to celebrate, he replied.  
  
  
  
I found us a new apartment, he explained.  
  
she queried.  
  
Because you won't be able to get up the steps when you're out. This one is on the ground floor. We have a year's sublease on it.  
  
She gazed at him warmly. _He thinks of everything_, she thought to herself. _No wonder I love him_.  
  
Love him.  
  
Yes, she admitted it to herself. She loved him.  
  
What are you thinking, he asked, afraid that she would be mad at him for not consulting her on the apartment.  
  
How much I love you, she said simply.  
  
Abby saw Carter's eyes widen in surprise, heard the sharp intake of breath.  
  
It was the first time either had said the words.  
  
The food lay forgotten next to Abby's half-eaten lunch as Carter sat gently on the bed and took her hand, tears forming in his eyes.  
  
I was so afraid I was going to lose you, he said, his voice thick with emotion. And never get to tell you what you mean to me. Abby, you are my world.  
  
Something caught in Maggie's throat as she stood unnoticed in the doorway, observing the tender scene between her daughter and the young man she was already thinking of as a son. She smiled softly and went down the hall into the little waiting room to give the couple some privacy.  
  
I wouldn't let myself say it until I knew you felt the same. Carter was struggling to speak through the surge of emotion. But the moment I could feel that you feel the same way... he trailed off. He didn't need to finish.  
  
  
*****  
  
  
_...And the moment  
i can feel that  
you feel that way too  
  
is when i fall in love   
with you  
_  
  
  
  
THE END....OR IS IT??????


	11. Epilogue: As Time Goes By

Author's Note: This really IS the end of And the Moment. I want to thank again the loyal readers whose reviews just light up my life. Shout outs go to CARBYfan, Mealz, and elf-princess, who have reviewed faithfully throughout the whole story, and as always to Carrie, Carolyn and Mel for their endless encouragement.  
  
I had to dash this off at odd moments when ideas came to me. Now that school is over, i'm halfway-unpacked at home, and repacking everything differently for camp, which begins at the end of this week and goes through early August. I wanted this done before then, though, so i could devote some time to developing the sequel. See everyone in August!  
  
DISCLAIMERS: [usuals go here] Title comes from the song from the timeless classic movie _Casablanca_. You know the one, where Bogey's at the bar and he says to Sam, play it again. ohhhhh, i love it....  
  
  
*****  
And the Moment...  
*****  
  
  
EPILOGUE: AS TIME GOES BY  
  
  
  
She didn't know what to expect as she gazed out the window at the unfamiliar scenery. She'd not seen any pictures of their new home. It was the first time she'd left the hospital since that fateful morning nearly two months ago. She wished desperately and wildly that she could get up and dance in the crisp autumn air. Sighing, she resigned herself to the fact that dancing would have to wait--another year or more.  
  
Abby looked down to her still-healing body, strapped carefully, with Carter's help, into the front seat of the Towncar--a smoother ride than his Jeep, he'd explained.  
  
his voice brought her out of her wistful reverie. We're almost there. He turned into the main drive of a very nice apartment complex, slowing down to a snail's pace to ease the big sedan over a row of speed bumps.  
  
A low, appreciative whistle sounded from the back seat. Got a spare room for me? Susan joked.  
  
Which one is Abby questioned.  
  
  
  
Give me a hint! she wheedled.  
  
It's probably not the one with the balloons and the Welcome Home, Abby' banner, Carter pointed to her right as he turned in the same direction  
  
How'd I miss that?  
  
Beats me, Susan laughed. Carter steered to the parking space just beneath the vivid banner placed there by the ER staff.  
  
Susan wrestled the manual wheelchair out of the back seat and unfolded it as Carter carefully helped Abby out of the passenger seat and supported her until Susan wheeled the chair around to them.  
  
I'm going to learn to hate this really fast, Abby pouted. I haven't been this helpless since I learned to walk.  
  
I believe it, Carter joked. Privately he thought that she would learn to like allowing him to take care of her and maybe in the future she would be more welcome to his willingness to help. Carefully, he helped her settle as comfortably as possible, wincing inwardly every time she let out the tiniest moan from pain.  
  
Did Maggie see this place before she went home? Abby asked.   
  
Not only did she see it, Carter informed her, She tried to redecorate it. I had to explain to her that as sub leasers we don't have that right. He wheeled her into the cozy little apartment. Suddenly he asked, Before she left, did she tell you--  
  
Abby interrupted, knowing what he was asking. We talked for a long time. It was weird, hearing her talk so matter-of-factly about her meds. Even weirder to know that she's on them and doing well.  
  
Carter only nodded in response. Susan came in, carrying the first few bags that accompanied Abby home. Her friends and coworkers had given her piles of books, music, electronic games, and flowers. The flowers were already arranged around the apartment, giving the place a very cheery feeling indeed.  
  
This is nice! Abby exclaimed as she looked around. There was a good-sized kitchen--big enough for her to get in and out of in her chair, a bathroom with a whirlpool tub, a living room with nice leather furniture and a big-screen television. I could get used to it, she grinned impishly.  
  
Ha, ha, came the dry response from Carter. Nevertheless he leaned down to plant a light kiss on her lips. I'm glad you like it, he said softly. She slung her good arm around him in the best imitation of a hug that she could muster.  
  
Knock it off, you two, Susan kidded, walking in with another armload. Carter shot her a mock-menacing look which she returned with an innocent gaze of her own. The next second her expression changed as a car door slammed outside and a new figure darkened the doorway. Carter's knowing smile gave it away before she even saw who was there.   
  
Susan and Abby let out the surprised exclamation simultaneously just before the unabashed Susan threw herself into his arms.  
  
Someone want to clue me in? Abby asked, looking daggers at Carter, who seemed to be trying his hardest to blend in with the powder blue walls.  
  
Eric said. She still doesn't know? he looked from the two guilty faces to the expectant, eyebrows-raised expression his sister wore.  
  
Abby, um, Susan and I are-  
  
Yeah, I noticed that, she interrupted. When was anyone going to tell me? She stared her brother down for a moment before letting a small grin curve her lips. You were afraid to tell me! she accused laughingly. You were afraid I'd be mad! Her grin got bigger as her three companions visibly relaxed.  
  
Yeah, a little, I guess, Eric mumbled.  
  
Why? I can't think of why I never thought of it, she ended, a thoughtful look on her face.   
  
You don't mind? Susan was still taken aback by Abby's calm demeanor.  
  
You wouldn't believe the dreams I had about you both... Abby began.  
  
The End (really.)


End file.
